rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
