He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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