i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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