If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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