Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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