Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
