Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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