epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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