left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My feet surprised me
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