they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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