omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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