i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
