would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
