Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
