he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
