where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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