he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
