i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They took my balls.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
