I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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