The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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