i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
