absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize