I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize