We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize