my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So vagazzling was a success
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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