it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
