Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
