you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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