Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize