There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
