the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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