My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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