Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
