I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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