i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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