we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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