Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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