what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
