dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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