just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
the raccoons are back...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
