Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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