She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
