haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
