I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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