Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
