Are my feet made of real feet?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
