then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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