She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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