She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize