im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
