the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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