I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
