Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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