i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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