OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
