i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
