I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
